The only relevant setting in BF for ESC's is the protocol used for the FC to communicate to them. As long as the ESC supports the protocol you have set, it will work. Current ratings on ESC's are a maximum, motors draw only what they need based on voltage and prop combinations. The only downsides to upgrading beyond what you need are weight and cost.
I think I burned it because I didn’t disarm or turned throttle off right away when I crashed. How long does it take to burn the esc out when a prop can’t spin and is still trying too? In crashes, is dropping the throttle to zero good enough to prevent overloading the esc when props get stuck?
Locked rotor current is extremely high, usually around 6x full load current, so it won't take long to do a lot of damage. You really want to be disarming as soon as you crash. Unless you have MOTOR_STOP enabled (which is not great for a few reasons) the props are still trying to turn at zero throttle, so the same problem remains.