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Breaking news... Flite Test Acquires Boeing

Gryf

Active member
#1
AP - For immediate release
North Canton, OH
1 April 2016

The aerospace industry is abuzz with the totally unexpected news that Ohio-based Flite Test has acquired Boeing in a surprise buyout. New chairman and CEO Josh Bixler explains the move: "We've spent the last several years perfecting airframe construction using readily-available composite materials that are surprisingly affordable. But what really tipped the scales was our recent release of a new composite that is impervious to water, which will enable our new series of airliners to operate in all weathers." On the topic of these airliners, Chief Design Engineer Peter Sripol will spearhead their development. He comments, "And you thought I was just messing around with the Capybara... Yeah, large-scale is fun, but that was just the beginning." Flite Test will also bring other new and exciting technologies to the industry, such as a mastery of thermal adhesives and "green" powerplants. Bixler also stated, "One of the major developments in the pipeline will provide a revolutionary advance in air travel. Contact us ahead of time with your date of departure, and we'll send you a kit enabling you to build your own airliner. You can then leave on your own schedule, and without all that tedious mucking about with security." He added that a key component of this plan will include swappable luggage pods.

In related news, David Windestal has reportedly been seen lurking around the back door at Airbus.

Stay tuned for more developments as they happen,

Gryf
 
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#3
Totally believable until you quoted Bixler as using the phrase "Mucking about". :)

I would also guess your airliner will get a softer flight envelope after a few crashes, er, I mean landings!
 
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razor02097

Rogue Drone Pilot
#6
A passenger carrying 747 made out of adams foam board, paint sticks, and hot glue? Sounds like fun to me! I'd be...on board...with it.

Waiting for flite test airlines to really...take off....
 

Snarls

Gravity Tester
Mentor
#8
Flitetest just released this image on facebook of their intended paint scheme for their new planes. Many media outlets speculate whether the words 'flite test' will concern passengers boarding the plane.

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