Hey guys. Sorry I've been silent. It's been a rough month. Both my fiance and I lost our jobs. We've been trying everything to recover but its been difficult. So I decided to write out my struggle, here on this forum, because, without even asking, you all took me in, no questions asked. You were willing to be encouragement to a stranger, and it helped. But before I get into specifics, let me at least put sone good in with the bad. Ive finally managed to keep my microdrone at a hover for about 80% of the flight, and I interpret that as my muscle memory is forming. So that's good I suppose. My kids are now anxious for my flights. They've caught the bug. When I get the quad out they all sit down like theyre about to watch a movie! Its crazy! But i love it! All I can hope for is for them to keep this steam up.
The thing is, I'm using rc as a form of rehabilitation, in a way. I've been trying to quit smoking marijuana. I initially started because I thought it was my only way of coping with anxieties that seemingly affect me more than most. Im sure everyone with anxiety problems say the same thing as I, so I'll not waste time in trying to make excuses. The fact is, not only is it illegal, but it's expensive. RC is expensive too, but its not a 'recurring expense'. With weed, I was spending close to 200 dollars a month just to feed my 'beast' . that 200 dollars could have been used to better the family, not just myself. When I came across this forum, and flite test as a whole, i was in a bad place. Money was nonexistent, and yet my habit was fed. It wasnt right. So i made a change. But shortly after I decided to give it up and get a better 'obsession', my fiance got fired. In losing her income we lost just about all of our ability to maintain our home.
And then I lost my job. I just quit because I was tired of fast food BS and tired of being there. But it was selfish. Because I was selfish and made bad choices, any chance we had of not just surviving, but thriving, was lost. And now I feel worse than ever. I had a dream of this year somehow finding a way to get to flite test and allowing this new life to help me quit my habit, but now that allotted money, for both starter planes for us and travel/expenses? Gone. We jave rent to pay and bills to settle. Maybe i Just feel hopeless right now, but I feel the pressure. Today, I've cried 3 times, and just feel so lost. I know wallowing solves nothing, but it felt good to let it out. Anyways, I'm not sure if I made the right call by putting this out there, but I cant really talk to anyone else who hasn't already heard this. I'm sorry if this seemed inappropriate, but I had to throw out a lifeline before I drowned. Thanks for listening all. keep flying, and I'll keep trying.
-Dash