The Coffee Shop - For general discussion

[OliverW]

If we're talking about planes we must have in our hangar, I'll leave this steal of a deal here.
https://www.flyinggiants.com/forums/showthread.php?t=303553

 

[IcedStorm777]

Do you mean bad as in you get anxious and awkward and say things that right after you say goodbye to her you're thinking to yourself "I said so'n so... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!" Or do you mean bad as in you don't seem to just win her attraction on command like some men seem to be able to? lol

Either way, I think you need to take a deep breath and in a moment when it just you and her ('cause no one likes an audience for this) ask her on a date. Just do it. Don't wait for 'the right moment' - there's no such thing. I know its scary, but you just have to. She will likely respect you for having the guts to ask in the first place. A lot of men don't bother actually asking these days - my girlfriend has had two previous partners and a couple other potentials; I was the only one to actually bother asking (she was 26 and I was 27... That's how bad it is). When you give her the chance to think about it and say 'no' you're already better than a lot of men out there.

And if she does say 'no'? You can relax now. No more worrying about 'blowing your chances' now you know there weren't any to begin with and all these feelings you have pent up (that would otherwise only get worse) can now vent off and you can move on. Maybe she'll make a good friend - I ask women out before I really get the feels for them, makes it easier to be friends with them instead haha! Now that you're not stuck crushing on her anymore, maybe you'll start to notice someone else - someone better suited to you!

If she says yes? ... Well, you're gonna be nervous a bit longer, I'm afraid you have a date to navigate now haha!

Lol, let me give you the full story. So currently she has a boyfriend. I am not the type of person to try to get them to break up or anything like that. As far as I'm concerned, if they work out and get married so be it and congratulations. I care enough about her that I don't want to see her break up with him just so i have a shot (because i doubt i have a good chance.) So here is where I am at. I have told her that I like her, i think it is the respectful thing to do and I basically said "Hey, I just wanted you to hear it from me before anybody else but I like you. I'm aware your dating and i respect that so as far as I'm concerned, I hope it keeps going well. If it doesn't maybe sometime in the future something can happen but otherwise I'm glad we are at least friends."

She is going to college locally so that's good. I will be able to drive people in about a year and a half and i made a personal rule that I'm not dating until i can drive people because otherwise that's just awkward. So if in a year and a half i still feel the same way and she has been single for a while ( I don't want to be a rebound) than I will ask her out. 99% Chance she will say no but whatever, thats life.

 

[Monte.C]

I don't want to be a bore, or a some kind of corrections officer, or imply you had any bad intention here, but I just wanna say: this male-dominated boy's club is going to stay a male-dominated boy's club if women come here and see us being this generalising about them. I know its fun and maybe women of your generation are fine with this, but certainly women and girls that I speak to may worry that if they make themselves known here, we might not see them as our equals. Don't wanna come across like I'm telling you off - I know you're just having fun, but I'm just warning that we might not want to share these kind of statements if we want women to feel totally relaxed here.

I know this might feel like its come out of nowhere - before my girlfriend made it clear just how often groups of men can be unintentionally exclusionary to women, I was completely unaware as well. Just, now that I know, I feel I should warn people that they might not be coming off as soft and friendly as they would like to be. Just an advisory - no scorn here.

I should have known this would come up sooner or later.
Women of my generation don't have an issue with this at all. This is playful banter and nothing more, and they already know they're smarter than we are.

 

[IcedStorm777]

Do you mean bad as in you get anxious and awkward and say things that right after you say goodbye to her you're thinking to yourself "I said so'n so... WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!" Or do you mean bad as in you don't seem to just win her attraction on command like some men seem to be able to? lol

Either way, I think you need to take a deep breath and in a moment when it just you and her ('cause no one likes an audience for this) ask her on a date. Just do it. Don't wait for 'the right moment' - there's no such thing. I know its scary, but you just have to. She will likely respect you for having the guts to ask in the first place. A lot of men don't bother actually asking these days - my girlfriend has had two previous partners and a couple other potentials; I was the only one to actually bother asking (she was 26 and I was 27... That's how bad it is). When you give her the chance to think about it and say 'no' you're already better than a lot of men out there.

And if she does say 'no'? You can relax now. No more worrying about 'blowing your chances' now you know there weren't any to begin with and all these feelings you have pent up (that would otherwise only get worse) can now vent off and you can move on. Maybe she'll make a good friend - I ask women out before I really get the feels for them, makes it easier to be friends with them instead haha! Now that you're not stuck crushing on her anymore, maybe you'll start to notice someone else - someone better suited to you!

If she says yes? ... Well, you're gonna be nervous a bit longer, I'm afraid you have a date to navigate now haha!

Oh and as far as the first part it is 50/50. I know I'm not super smooth or attractive so i don't try to play off of that but I'm just not as good with girls as a lot of my friends which is frustrating. AKA last week, the last of my three best guy friends started dating so im the lone one who has never and currently isn't dating. Not necessarily bad but kind of annoying at times that I can't seem to be nearly as smooth as them.

 

[TheFlyingBrit]

Here is one for the younger members of the forum, only $13.60

 

[Quinnyperks]

View attachment 189118
Here is one for the younger members of the forum, only $13.60

Dang, that’s a sick airplane, too bad it’s designed for children.

 

[Monte.C]

In fact, I think that a discussion about women this gentle and respectful is just our way of honoring/celebrating how pleased we are that there are two sexes.

 

[mastermalpass]

Lol, let me give you the full story. So currently she has a boyfriend. I am not the type of person to try to get them to break up or anything like that. As far as I'm concerned, if they work out and get married so be it and congratulations. I care enough about her that I don't want to see her break up with him just so i have a shot (because i doubt i have a good chance.) So here is where I am at. I have told her that I like her, i think it is the respectful thing to do and I basically said "Hey, I just wanted you to hear it from me before anybody else but I like you. I'm aware your dating and i respect that so as far as I'm concerned, I hope it keeps going well. If it doesn't maybe sometime in the future something can happen but otherwise I'm glad we are at least friends."

She is going to college locally so that's good. I will be able to drive people in about a year and a half and i made a personal rule that I'm not dating until i can drive people because otherwise that's just awkward. So if in a year and a half i still feel the same way and she has been single for a while ( I don't want to be a rebound) than I will ask her out. 99% Chance she will say no but whatever, thats life.

Ach! One of them. A person you never wanted feelings for, but they grew anyway. I had this in college. We got along great and we were both single... But she was gay. Not much anyone can do there haha!

 

[TheFlyingBrit]

Oh and as far as the first part it is 50/50. I know I'm not super smooth or attractive so i don't try to play off of that but I'm just not as good with girls as a lot of my friends which is frustrating. AKA last week, the last of my three best guy friends started dating so im the lone one who has never and currently isn't dating. Not necessarily bad but kind of annoying at times that I can't seem to be nearly as smooth as them.

You don't need to be smooth or handsom to be popular with the ladies, Im Fugly (funny but ugly) and have always done okay. Just pay them lots of compliments, listen rather than speak and make them laugh.

 

[IcedStorm777]

Well, I appreciate the advice. Yeah and the other annoying thing is that my friends are all the type of people that will date to find who they like, im the type of person to wait until i like someone, figure out that i want to date them (usually a six month ish process) and then actually accept those feelings. So we will see where it goes. On the bright side, regardless for who its with I already have a first date planned. So I want the person I'm dating to always remember our first date even if we don't work out. Hows this for a date: Pick her up and head to a local coffee shop to chat and hang out for about 45 minutes. Then (IMO here is where it gets good and I will have my PPL by then) we are heading to my regional airport for a sunset flight out over her house and the foothills. If I ever pull that date off i will be VERY happy XD. Anyway that's enough about me, I don't want to clog up this thread with stupid teenager crap

 

[TheFlyingBrit]

Ach! One of them. A person you never wanted feelings for, but they grew anyway. I had this in college. We got along great and we were both single... But she was gay. Not much anyone can do there haha!

I went over to a very attractive woman in a bar one night, she stopped me in my tracks and said "before you start trying to chat me up, I am a lesbian, and I want to sleep with that woman at the end of the bar" to which I replied " I must be a lesbian too then, because so do I". We had a good laugh about it afterwards.

 

[Monte.C]

You don't need to be smooth or handsom to be popular with the ladies, Im Fugly (funny but ugly) and have always done okay. Just pay them lots of compliments, listen rather than speak and make them laugh.

Where's the Double-Like button...
Yeah I know it sounds weird, but work on finding peace with yourself. That gives you a natural quiet confidence from the inside out. Women read this through some kind of magic powers they have.
Like if you're planning to make a move, approach someone, think about both outcomes. Think about each outcome, consider all implications until you decide you're ok with whichever way it'll turn out. Then you can move on it and you have a much better chance with something you CAN'T control, like her response.

 

[mastermalpass]

I should have known this would come up sooner or later.
Women of my generation don't have an issue with this at all. This is playful banter and nothing more, and they already know they're smarter than we are.

That's great! Part of my intention was getting people to clarify it's all meant with respect and good will. Many men feel that it goes without saying, but what we don't see ourselves is how often a warm smile can turn hostile. Think of any example of a nasty thing a man might do to a woman - whatever it is, studies will likely say 1 in 4 women have experienced it. That's why (as much as we would really rather not take our minds to that dark place and I'm sorry to spoil the mood by making your minds go there) I feel I should bring it to attention and just get people saying that though they might make a generalisation for a bit of fun - they're not gonna make women the butt of every joke or simply not care how what we say might make them feel.

It's annoying (or rather, tragic) that we should have to clarify that in the first place, I know. But its a reality women live with everyday, so I'm sure we can show consideration it once in a while. Again, no hard feelings. Just spreading awareness.

 

[TheFlyingBrit]

Well, I appreciate the advice. Yeah and the other annoying thing is that my friends are all the type of people that will date to find who they like, im the type of person to wait until i like someone, figure out that i want to date them (usually a six month ish process) and then actually accept those feelings. So we will see where it goes. On the bright side, regardless for who its with I already have a first date planned. So I want the person I'm dating to always remember our first date even if we don't work out. Hows this for a date: Pick her up and head to a local coffee shop to chat and hang out for about 45 minutes. Then (IMO here is where it gets good and I will have my PPL by then) we are heading to my regional airport for a sunset flight out over her house and the foothills. If I ever pull that date off i will be VERY happy XD. Anyway that's enough about me, I don't want to clog up this thread with stupid teenager crap

Well thought out pal it should be a great date just remember to relax and enjoy yourselves

 

[tesseract]

Just found this on Facebook market place, for sale in the UK: Its got a 30cc petrol engine fitted, just add batteries and receiver £300 ($409).
View attachment 189115

I can just HEAR that gasser in my mind!

 

[TheFlyingBrit]

I agree with Mastermalplass women should not be the butt of jokes, or have to deal with mental or physical abuse. However, in this sad society we live in they are not alone, there are many groups of people who have to tolerate this kind of behaviour.
My first wife for example was an abusive alcoholic, with aggresive tendencies when drunk.
So I just want to point out that men also suffer humiliation plus mental and physical abuse from women, the difference is men dont discuss what they experience as its considered something to be ashamed of.

 

[TheFlyingBrit]

I should have known this would come up sooner or later.
Women of my generation don't have an issue with this at all. This is playful banter and nothing more, and they already know they're smarter than we are.

Agree with you, I wouldn't say anything on this forum about women, that I wouldn't be prepared to say in front of my wife or my mother.

 

[Ketchup]

Ok, so I know that @IcedStorm777 said he wouldn't keep on going about the "stupid teenager crap" but I had a question for people here. When do you even start dating? I'm a freshman in high school and have never even thought of it, but there are people out here who are just a year or two ahead already dating others. How does it even work? Like I don't really have the money to go out and buy somebody dinner, and how will either of us have the time with school? Also what's gonna happen when everybody goes off on their own to college?
One thing that I'm worried about is that I want to join the Air Force, so I would go to college (hopefully USAFA), then straight off to the Air Force for like 10 years, but after that I will be like 30, and maybe it will be too late to actually find someone and have a family or something... I know it's probably not gonna be too late, and I should probably figure it out later, but I really don't get how this whole Air Force stuff works. Like when you come back home every once in a while how long do you stay before going back again? I heard that being a pilot in the Air Force has some 10 year minimum service requirement or something, so would I spend a year away and then a few months back home before going away again?
I really have no idea lol.
Edit: Sorry about the huge essay with my life problems. I don't personally know anybody in the Air Force so if you guys know the answers to the Air Force questions then it would be great, but the first paragraph or so can be ignored. I will most likely figure it all out soon enough.

 

[IcedStorm777]

Ok, so I know that @IcedStorm777 said he wouldn't keep on going about the "stupid teenager crap" but I had a question for people here. When do you even start dating? I'm a freshman in high school and have never even thought of it, but there are people out here who are just a year or two ahead already dating others. How does it even work? Like I don't really have the money to go out and buy somebody dinner, and how will either of us have the time with school? Also what's gonna happen when everybody goes off on their own to college?
One thing that I'm worried about is that I want to join the Air Force, so I would go to college (hopefully USAFA), then straight off to the Air Force for like 10 years, but after that I will be like 30, and maybe it will be too late to actually find someone and have a family or something... I know it's probably not gonna be too late, and I should probably figure it out later, but I really don't get how this whole Air Force stuff works. Like when you come back home every once in a while how long do you stay before going back again? I heard that being a pilot in the Air Force has some 10 year minimum service requirement or something, so would I spend a year away and then a few months back home before going away again?
I really have no idea lol.

@Ketchup Sorry if that seemed insensitive, I meant my life problems as a teenager. As far as the rest i'm as clueless as you.

 

[Ketchup]

Also this whole lack of knowledge about being in the Air Force is the main thing that's holding me back from actually wanting to do it. I'm not sure exactly what I'm getting into, but I guess I can figure that out later.